Learn to say No, and be myself

Sometimes too much considerations on others, peoples will take for granted.
Keep a distance should be the right way to be nice person. Learn the lesson hard pain now.
Even family member except own family and kids, no one is true family for married woman in her husband's family.

They only think of themselves and want the son to obey to them. They want to rule the family with rude manner to force you follow. Once you in need for help they will push you to edge. Waiting to see your response. When complains to husband, he has thousamd reasons why the mom do so.

So I learn the lesson. I will not pay for nothing or no reason anymore - just like what they did to me.

One day when they sick i will tell hundred of reasons that i cant help. No mercy anymore.

Pray Hard to Escape From Hell

Day 1 - 1st April, 2015
- get a job, but have not being replied for offer letter. Counting day 1 to have the offer letter fast.
- followed up with agent, but no reply - as of no one pick up call. Is the agent on leave?
- sent a follow up email to the agent's manager, hopefully she will reply.. waiting.
- yesterday hiring manager said he is also having his side to push for the offer... but ???
- Pray hard that i will get it.
- from heart, a lot of questions ponder me.... why i am in this situation? From the religions point of view, am I doing something bad that causing me this crisis?
- I just do my work, in a good manner, but why???
- Ponder, ponder....

May god be my side to help me out. Amitabha. Sadhu, sadhu!

mid year crisis

i think i am stuck in the mid year career crisis...
just have no clue why bad luck is always tailing me, or i am just not as capable as i was use to be?
sometimes, i just hope to have a peaceful working life... work on what is being instructed, but peoples just couldn't leave me alone. they just like to blame what they do not want to responsible to. they just throw their stress to others. shall i fight back? I think i shall, but how much i can? I am tired to be such a life.

I am thinking to change, but how, and where to start from? Shall i sacrifice what i have now? Or i have been overpaid for the job?
Sometimes, i just wonder the same job scope, but the expectation is so much different... why so? Is it i am not well-versed in my area, or i am not good in presenting myself, or i am not boosting a lot?

I just hope that it will retrench me, and i find a job that simple enough to keep my living easy...

Pray hard, may god bless me well... amithaba! may buddha bless me...
hope i didnt do anything bad that cause the karma. hope what i try to contribute to society is being appreciated, and i am being care for as well...
Although i know we can't expect return from what we have done good, but i do pray hard that i wont be treated bad ...

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu! This reminds me that it is time for chanting... I shall chant to have a good earning, and living life...

Endurance

counting the endurance days -
18th Nov, 2013 - endure the day. tell myself to be strong to face this situation. be tough to go over the unhappiness that causing me demotivated. let the unfairness being proof when time comes. let the karma to teach the bad hearted creatures.

Monday - 18th Nov - Afternoon

Received an email about my application. It shows a ray of light. And, I pray hard to get the application works thru. If yes, there is a layer of warranty for the next step. - at least ease of my worry being jobless, and a layer of cushion to slowly find a requirement fit job. Amithaba! I really pray hard to get the application works!

Monday - 18th Nov 2013

Monday to start the week - an employee will visit the office. Expect to be a week that need to entertains peoples. Hope thing will not go worse. More worry abou tomorrow's dinner - shall check if I can be excuse from it. But, i am really doubt if I can exempted from the dinner. The evaluation is not visible , so he can take any reason to rate you low. Pray hard again to hear news for next stop. Amithaba!

Revamp to gain positive energy

So long has been impacting by negative energy. Come to today, suddenly I feel all the negative energies are not worth to make my life sad. As what all friends see me - I have a good family, loving hubby, happy baby, considerate in laws, and by all means parents and sister, supportive siblings (including in law siblings). Near to freedom financial status. Why shall I bother of the little friction that happens in job? Somehow, it is clear that it is not the truth that causing the friction. It is rather the perception of one person that making the chaos. Job is part of the life, and the current is just part of the job life. It always an opportunity to change. Although luck is not at my end, I will stay tune to consistently improve my self value. Opportunity is given to people that is well prepared and ready to accept. Yes, I fail here. But I will shine back here or somewhere else. I shall look at the happy and positive life of mine. And, yes whoever that hurts me just because he or she feels to penalize me for his or her own ego, please do so. By means, god will not always at your end to help you do bad things. Karma will find you one day for what you have built to hurt a mother, a wife, a dedicated employee. I will pray hard to get my new destination. For the day it comes I will say goodbye to you. And, it is rather of mix feeling shall we cross again to see how each other grows... For this, I promise myself to be considerate, self motivated, self improved and live happily. I shall see how you live with all the karma that you have built. Amithaba! Sadhu sadhu!

Sad day...

not sure how long more to endure for this situation... bad luck in work, not good in health... just feel weaker and weaker... has been working so long, and due to a rude, not ethical employee, being penalized by employer... such unfair! and I learnt that boss is always right in whatever he perceive. He can use other reason to penalize a person for his own revenge reason. learnt that a banana is rather closer to white. hope more Asian companies to grow stronger and beat the west ... but actually not the west. So long has been working with west... cause me no problem... guess, it is problem of a kangaroo land peoples... now, it makes me hate the white of kangaroo..., especially those cant finish from university... people who think he is people oriented, in fact he is like Hitler - autocratic! wish him to hit his day one day... and get him to feel the sadness that he has built to others. with his pet, who bites him, yet he still miss it so much... I do hope that he will be bitten again and again until he dies...

Finally....

today finally announce that aka dog decides to leave.. which is expected.. although some feels sad to let the dog out... the paid off for the dog is not worth... wasted budget for useful events... even for charity work... next step is pray hard to find next station... and leave the old station ... will see how's the old station grows ... the vision!

Quote of the day - long waiting description to a dog -a/k dc

A person who uses work to 'revenge' on personal matter is the most cheapskate person in the world...selfish and pathetic scumbag.

Psychiatry

(Psychiatry) a person afflicted with a personality disorder characterized by a tendency to commit antisocial and sometimes violent acts and a failure to feel guilt for such acts Also called sociopath... Eg: when frustrated will break the glasses..., criticize people not working....likes to pick up others minor error..., self boosting ....., quirky...., twick words around..., likes to polish bosses' shoes..., manipulate others trust by stalking people's personal life..., eating own food counting others plates... Freaking head....etc... Definition of being psychiatry....

Unexpected Office Politic

It is a bit of shock to me that i have involved or even triggered an unexpected office politic. And, it is even more scary when i get to know a person can suppress his enmity months - waiting to attack! It is always not a good idea to over protect subordinate (just because you are his direct report) and stab others especially peers just because you want to survive your own peoples or to show your territory. Nevertherless, if it is a security or safety violation, it will ruin the subordinate's career path (being caught and expelled from the company) due to the direct report compromises some illegal matters.

It does not help the subordinate, instead it is extending the subordinate to more violations unconciously. Is it a wise action to revenge your peers by compromising your subordinate's career? It is good feeling when there is a chance that you can retaliate others. However, it is not a good idea if you involve your subordinate and sacrify his career path just because of the good feeling!!!

Guess, to be a leader, it really needs a better or higher EQ to tolerate on others comments, and feedbacks. And, it is also important that do not take the comments personally, heartache for months and years, just because waiting for a chance to revenge.

Life is short, enjoy, and take comments and feedback as a gift to be a better person!!!

Somehow, i deeply sympathy the subordinate of this person! It is just like a kid is not doing right, yet the parent is blaming on others to protect his own child. It will spoil the kid instead of helping the kid to improve. The kid is innocent, enjoying the 'love' of the parents does not help his future. It may ruins his entire life!!!

Wake up! Please be a responsible leader!

Exhausted mind, exhausted body, exhausted soul ...

I think i am aging as i started to have physically tireness from time to time... The brain just couldnt function well... it just like a CPU that is hang, and feels doing nothing! I force myself to do more things, but my brain just couldnt process more... Even i insist myself to do the work, end up there is so much careless mistake happens... I started to feel hopeless on myself for being careless, and out of control on my brain, and my body... Shall i look for easier job? Shall i stop torturing myself? OR Shall i give myself a break and resume the reading & and adventures? OR Shall i find a better way to continue earning? Somehow, sometimes, i just feel to let go everything... moving to a spiritual world - chanting for a week to release my mind tireness, my body tireness... etc, etc... amitabha.

PMP credential cycle extended!

Nothing much of this topic, just feel to share that I have extended the PMP credential cycle! With the effort of collecting 60 PDUs, and after paying USD299 + USD60, finally one of the worry that always stick in my mind gone away...

Yes! I can phase out this worriness from my memory for at least 6 years from now. What a relief! It was not big enough to impact my life, but I just feel that i shouldnt let go a hard earned credential after all the hardwork and pressure that i have gone thru...

Hurray! Bravo to myself! (lol, although i might be the only one that boosting about this.. :-p)

依然愛你 -- dedicated to my beloved hubby....

依然愛你

主唱：王力宏
作曲：王力宏
填詞：王力宏
編曲：
監製：

歌詞

一閃一閃亮晶晶　留下歲月的痕跡
我的世界的重心　依然還是你
一年一年又一年　飛逝僅在一轉眼
唯一永遠不改變　是不停的改變
我不像從前的自己　你也有點不像你
但在我眼中你的笑　依然的美麗
日子只能往前走　一個方向順時鐘
不知道愛有多久　所以要讓你懂
我依然愛你　將是唯一的退路
我依然珍惜　時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸　每個動作　每個表情
到最後　一定會　依然愛你
(依然愛你　依然愛你…)

我不像從前的自己　你也有點不像你
但在我眼中你的笑　依然的美麗
日子只能往前走　一個方向順時鐘
不知道愛有多久　所以要讓你懂
我依然愛你　就是唯一的退路
我依然珍惜　時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸　每個動作　每個表情
到最後　一定會　依然愛你
(依然愛你　依然愛你…)

我依然愛你　或許是命中注定
多年之後　任何人都無法代替
那些時光　是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶　依然無法忘記
我依然愛你　這是唯一的退路
我依然珍惜　時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸　每個動作　每個表情
到永遠　一定會　依然愛你

Change, change, change

Not sure if bioclock is started to urge me for a change... Lately, i just feel a bit of getting bored to start my weekday...

Working without an objective or vision makes me uncertain and insecure. Hope few months down the road, i will see some changes...

Year 2012!

New year new resolutions!

But, what is mine? >.< i am still not yet set mine.... Or, i shall say, i got too many plans, and lack of confident to complete all.

I have been with current job for almost 2 years, feel a bit lack in keeping myself on studying technical skill. Although i have force myself to take up the PMI certification, but guess the certification has left behind about a year. It is time to equip myself to start another GOALS.

What are the goals that i shall working towards?

Improve my current skill? Improve my investment plan? Improve my personal life?

From all these 3, guess I am only able to work for skill, and investment plan. Wheares personal life, i think i need a balance life in order to have self satisfaction.

I am just not a person that can enjoy life without thinking about the realistic living... >.<""""

Ok, let me set my skill improvement plan.

Shall I take up ITIL, and Oracle certification?!

For ITIL, guess i just need a strong determination to force myself study!!!!
It shall be the easiest goal to set for this year!

Oracle certification!!! It has been years that i am aiming for it, but i just never ever get the realize ... Shall it happens this year?

Again...Need Luck

Not sure how many times I have been meeting the clients... But one that for sure is i am going to meet the potential clients again... this afternoon. Will this time I have the luck to get the contract on? I think I just feel weak to gain the contract, always in my mind is - will i so lucky this time? Sometimes, I just feel that it is so helpless to get the contract, as this is nothing about putting effort, and more on if you are getting the right clients that fullfilled the requirements. It is either an bad quality or demanding or lacking luck that i was encountering for past few months...Somehow I started to question myself, am i too picky? My friend told me - you are too into details, and picking on people's occupation. Indeed, I am! But, i guess i just come from a win-win solution for all to avoid unexpected outcome at last. It is either start and end with good contract, or void it from the begining. I believe this will bring goodness of both parties. At least save the fighthing and paper works ...

Hope what i am heading is the right direction... amithbha...

Luck is not always at this side...

Lately, i am just having much imbalance feeling. It seems to me that the luck is no longer at my side... and bit by bit luck is going with wind..

The more i think so, the more i feel that life is always not easy. When we grow up and start to build our own victory, the more we suffer on having much and much. We start to compete with others to have more, and compare with others on what we own and what we do not own. I suppose i shall feel lucky compare to those unfortunate one. Yet, I didnt feel so as I always compare with those that have more than me, and start to question myself why i cant have the luck to own more...

I know that is not the right thinking, yet my mind just swings to negative side when small incident triggers. Somehow, it is just too tired to think more. I just feel to drop all, and living to the simplest way. But, can i survive??

Life! It is always two sides of it - positive and negative. How to make myself in positive instead of negative?

Secretive yet pathetic

Not sure if the word "secretive" elaborate what i am feeling now correctly or not...
But i just feel a bit awkward when a friend trying to feign for some minor questions which obviously peoples can see she/he is wearing a mask when giving the reaction.

It suppose that's nothing right or wrong to spell that she/he cant tell the truth / secrets as she/he promise to do so. But, the feign reaction does make people feels that she/he is trying to make fool of a person's intelligence.

Well, sometimes i think sincerity counts a person's trustworthy. If a person does not sincere in her/his words/actions, it does break the trustworthy that people gives to her/him.

To act feign, i think it is not a good idea. I rather a person to be sincere to tell the truth rather than pretend good yet make people feels being fooled. Before you can master the feign skill, it is always better to be sincere. Unless you are 100% confident that you are able to act feign, yet receiver cant sense the humiliation that you have subjected to her/him.

I actually pity the person who feign the others, yet being disclosed. In fact, she/he looks like a clown in other eyes... What a pathetic action!