Luck is not always at this side...

Lately, i am just having much imbalance feeling. It seems to me that the luck is no longer at my side... and bit by bit luck is going with wind..

The more i think so, the more i feel that life is always not easy. When we grow up and start to build our own victory, the more we suffer on having much and much. We start to compete with others to have more, and compare with others on what we own and what we do not own. I suppose i shall feel lucky compare to those unfortunate one. Yet, I didnt feel so as I always compare with those that have more than me, and start to question myself why i cant have the luck to own more...

I know that is not the right thinking, yet my mind just swings to negative side when small incident triggers. Somehow, it is just too tired to think more. I just feel to drop all, and living to the simplest way. But, can i survive??

Life! It is always two sides of it - positive and negative. How to make myself in positive instead of negative?

Secretive yet pathetic

Not sure if the word "secretive" elaborate what i am feeling now correctly or not...
But i just feel a bit awkward when a friend trying to feign for some minor questions which obviously peoples can see she/he is wearing a mask when giving the reaction.

It suppose that's nothing right or wrong to spell that she/he cant tell the truth / secrets as she/he promise to do so. But, the feign reaction does make people feels that she/he is trying to make fool of a person's intelligence.

Well, sometimes i think sincerity counts a person's trustworthy. If a person does not sincere in her/his words/actions, it does break the trustworthy that people gives to her/him.

To act feign, i think it is not a good idea. I rather a person to be sincere to tell the truth rather than pretend good yet make people feels being fooled. Before you can master the feign skill, it is always better to be sincere. Unless you are 100% confident that you are able to act feign, yet receiver cant sense the humiliation that you have subjected to her/him.

I actually pity the person who feign the others, yet being disclosed. In fact, she/he looks like a clown in other eyes... What a pathetic action!

money not enough....

Lately seems that cost of living is hiking up due to inflations of food, petrol, and etc. The only stand still not moving is our salary! In this case, it means your saving ratio from your salary will be decrease, and even worst ... it might turn to no saving... and might worsen it turn negative when there is any accident happen... where there is no buffer to fork out the money to solve the accidental/ issue...

The more i think about the expense, the more makes employee like me feels worry...

We have monthly commitment that can not be avoided:
1.) at the minimum, 3 meals a day - cost increase due to sugar, poultry, flavour, etc price increase.
2.) monthly petrol
3.) monthly car installment
4.) quarterly car maintenance
5.) monthly house installment

Yearly commitment:
1.) Health insurance
2.) Quit Rent
3.) Cukai Pintu
4.) Car insurance
5.) Road Tax

Accidents:
1.) Car
2.) Sick
3.) House Repair

Question coming back, how shall we increase our income or shall we decrease our expenses? To answer this, I did reduce my expenses since day one i commit myself to pay house and car installment. After years' practice, it seems that no matter how much i tried to decrease the expenses, i am still not able to beat the speed of inflations ...

So, the only option that leaves to me - how to increase our income??

HOW? HOW?

What will you do?

if you have already prepared yourself to pay for it, and someone gives you hope that you can do the reimbursement, but you need to hold a bit longer - which may delay your goal. Will you wait?

Struggling to choose to wait. Somehow, when ask myself on the confident level on the reimbursement, i think i will give it 40% confident level. It is just like a death horse with last breath and someone tell it that the doctor might able to cure him... argh... chance is way way low...

Shall I wait? or shall i go ahead?

Too much complaints that cant be release

I wonder lately I am a bit quirky in response of some peoples' actions. It is not wrong that those are trying to show off themselves in the public. But i am just a little bit not feeling good having those showing off peoples... in fact i feel that there is a bit of annoying me... Why i say so? Hmm, i might be bias on these type of persons... showing off! too ego - especially guy who needs to work under a lady...! those are peoples that i think a bit of irritating and disgusting!

Why cant work low profile with sincere heart? Why must show off the actions that being count? Why must always tell people how good he/she is? All the works that being done, just because want to catch employer's attention for certain intention? Cant understand!

Another type of person - GUY... in fact i feel that this type of guy... he is so petite! Cant he accept the fact that human are equal as a whole?! Gender does not count into capability and intelligence measurement... cant he just accept the fact!

Arghhhhhhhh i guess too much grumbling ... and, in fact... i have been suppressing my angriness for a while... and here i go .... bursting my imbalance feeling here.... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

伯牙絕弦

作詞：阿璞 / 阿信 作曲：王力宏
知人知面 知己知彼 又知心 古人說 這就是所謂知音
相知相惜 相親相愛 也相憶 朋友你 會不會常把我想起
何年何月 何日何時 再相聚 何時能 把酒言歡暢回憶
很多很多 很深很深 的回憶 很多歌 我只想要為你唱起
春秋時期 遠近知名伯牙琴藝 沉魚也出水 馬兒仰秣聆聽
聆聽 寂寞 的聲音 舉世知名 不如 一個知音
直到子期 聞琴解開伯牙心境 高山流水 風景似有靈悉
高山青 流水靜 如鏡 無言卻勝過有言的天地
聽 宮 商 角 徵 羽 那歌詞未寫上的是 弦外的延長音
斟一杯酒 一抱拳 一句關心 在千年之後 再延續 不變的旋律
當 春 雪 融 夏 景 秋風為我捎封信
冬 冬鑼隆冬牆 冬 冬鑼隆隆冬牆牆 又是思念的四季
知人知面 知己知彼 又知心 古人說 這就是所謂知音
相知相惜 相親相愛 也相憶 朋友你 會不會常把我想起
何年何月 何日何時 再相聚 何時能 把酒言歡暢回憶
很多很多 很深很深 的回憶 很多歌 我只想要為你唱起
某年某月 某天伯牙再訪子期 風景依舊綠 子期卻已歸西
觸景 觸琴 即傷情 伯牙絕弦 只因再無知音
千年過去 當我再度撥弄琴韻 更多冷箭 更多冷言冷語
請你聽 請輕輕 傾聽 唱給我永遠不離棄的知音
聽 宮 商 角 徵 羽 那歌詞未寫上的是喔 喔 喔
斟一杯酒 一抱拳 一句關心 在千年之後 再延續 不變的旋律
當 春 雪 融 夏 景 秋風為我捎封信
冬 冬鑼隆冬牆 冬 冬鑼隆隆冬牆牆 又是思念的四季
知人知面 知己知彼 又知心 古人說 這就是所謂知音
相知相惜 相親相愛 也相憶 朋友你 會不會常把我想起
何年何月 何日何時 再相聚 何時能 把酒言歡暢回憶
很多很多 很深很深 的回憶 很多歌 我只想要為你唱起

Grateful / Thankful

It is not easy for me to say thankful or grateful to what i have, as i am worry glorious words slip from mouth will be jealous... I know it is superstitious of me... but, just wanna ensure that words wont spoil the happiness that appear now...

Thanks, and feel great to have such living style... :-) Love you...