Monday Blues...

We always struggle to wake up in time to work on Monday. Everyone is singing blues on Monday morning. But, life is still going on, earning is still promising, and everything is going ordinary smooth.

15th Sept, 2008 - I think this is being quoted as Black Monday to wallstreet. Many peoples loose jobs, and earning of future is uncertain. This is really blues to most of the peoples, when no one sense the disaster coming in...

Although bailout has been done, will it help the ordinary employee recover fast? Question is still in mind.

Shall we sing blues on Monday now?
I think sometimes, we just need to appreciate what we have, and where we live.

I am who I am..

I am not a brave person to admit who I am.
I use to retract my words when I am being scare off.
I use to deny my feeling when I ask to express...

The more i like something, the more i feel hard to catch it. The more I try to express, the more I speak wrongly. Do I have to explain myself everytime when things happen? I tried. But I guess, it is just being thought as a 'serious' person.

So, am I gutless?

I do not like to be understood by others. I totally out of tune to be understood. I like to work things differently when I sense someone is trying to understand me. And, I act differently when I try to understand others.

I tried to understand myself, but I feel that the flow of denial is strong...I do not allow myself to understand myself either...

I am hiding for something, something that I feel so strong that denying my thought, my words, and my actions... What is that?

It is an evil thought that resist myself to move forward... I guess...

Helpless sickness

I am getting worse and worse of the sickness... The drowning feeling is nearer and nearer... I need to survive myself as soon as possible... before the water sipping much and much and the ship sinks...

Force of reality is there, nothing much that can be done... other than ... run! run! run as fast as you can! run as far as you will..

I shall see the light at the end of the tunnel... i shall... i suppose to...

The wave is pulling me downwards, the water is reaching my nose... i am half death.. as my breath is getting weak and weak... Help! I need the buoyancy aid tyre.. If not, please throw me a rope to pull me up to the shore... I would want to have a clear breath... I want to have my life without struggling in the middle of the sea... out from being urge by the wave... no hitting from the ship plank... Help me!

Too much gap to be perfect

Am I a good daughter to my parents?

Am I a rule follower in the country?

Am I consider technical competent for my career?

Am I loyal to myself?

Am I contributing to the community?

Am I a good employee for my company?

Am I keeping what I have promised?

Am I .....................................................??

Who shall decide?

Decision! Decision! Decision!

Who shall make the final decision? You or me?

Why cant we voluntarily assume the responsibility to make the decision?

Do you worry about the accountability and responsibility that you need to bear if the decision does not turn into a fruitful result?

Am I the one that dare not hold the consequences of the decision? I think I prefer to contribute the idea rather than being the decision maker.

So, you have to make the call. And, I did my part. It is time for you to consider my input... Just follow your thought as it does not matter what I say or think, but it is more of a matter of what your opinion is.

You would rather believe in what you want to believe in than the thought that I have.