Will you trust someone that break the trustworth that given?
If yes, will you continue to tell the truth?
Telling the truth might kill a person's good will.
Telling lie is even causing confusion to others. So, what shall we do?
Dilemma! If it is given a chance to accept as it, or deny what is being told? What will you choose?
It is a little bit go no where! We are struggling in between to trust or not to trust...
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
To prevent or cure
I guess everyone chooses to prevent rather than to cure.
I think I do agree to prevent as well.
But, if you only notice it is too late to prevent... then the only option that you have is to cure.
Prevention is a proactive action, cure is a reactive action. And there shall be minimal consequences for people that able to act carefully thus act swiftly to prevent the disaster that is coming. Only the person that drowning with happiness carelessly will be punish for the bad consequences...
It might be the difference of prevention and cure. Do you agree?
I think I do agree to prevent as well.
But, if you only notice it is too late to prevent... then the only option that you have is to cure.
Prevention is a proactive action, cure is a reactive action. And there shall be minimal consequences for people that able to act carefully thus act swiftly to prevent the disaster that is coming. Only the person that drowning with happiness carelessly will be punish for the bad consequences...
It might be the difference of prevention and cure. Do you agree?
The question of love ... by Visuddhacara
A human being is a lonely being. It seeks love and understanding. It seeks to find this love from another human being, in the arms of another human being. It yearns for somebody to be its companion in the journey of life. But is is not uncommon for a human being to find heartbreak instead, to have its dreams shattered, its heart broken. Have you had your heart broken before? Do you not feel like your world has collapsed then, that everything's over and life's not worth living anymore?
A human being does not understand that a happiness that depends on another is never secure or steady. It is shaky and vulnerable. For another might change and what would happen to its love then? And even when the love is sustained and grows, there's always the inevitable separations that must come about through death. And a human being might well ask: "Why must we find love only to die?"
But because of its great loneliness and deep yearning, a human being seeks love even if it knows it must suffer for it. It feels, rightly or wrongly, that "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." For a human being is a lonely creature. It must find love, even if it has to lose and to die. It must take all the happiness it can get in its short life on earth. It must make the most of it. Must it not?
We must understand a human being, its need to love and be loved, its craving for love. And two lovers too, we know, can find their joy and happiness, albeit not without the pain and agony that must accompany such love. They can support and comfort each other along the journey of life. They can travel together.
But can a human being transcend the need for such kind of love? Can a human being live alone and still love all beings? Can a human being love without any need for sensual gratification, without any expectations or rewards from any quarter, without a psychologically dependent kind of realtionship, the type of love that depends upon another behaving in a certain way towards one, and if that human being changes and stops behaving in that way, then the love turns sour, turns bad? Can a human being transcend the need for such a kind of dependent love? I think it would be most difficult for a human being, most difficult, in fact, for all human beings, to transcend the need for such kind of love.
But it is good for a human being to give some thought, to consider more deeply the question of love, so that understanding, it can love more understandingly, more knowingly.
A human being does not understand that a happiness that depends on another is never secure or steady. It is shaky and vulnerable. For another might change and what would happen to its love then? And even when the love is sustained and grows, there's always the inevitable separations that must come about through death. And a human being might well ask: "Why must we find love only to die?"
But because of its great loneliness and deep yearning, a human being seeks love even if it knows it must suffer for it. It feels, rightly or wrongly, that "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." For a human being is a lonely creature. It must find love, even if it has to lose and to die. It must take all the happiness it can get in its short life on earth. It must make the most of it. Must it not?
We must understand a human being, its need to love and be loved, its craving for love. And two lovers too, we know, can find their joy and happiness, albeit not without the pain and agony that must accompany such love. They can support and comfort each other along the journey of life. They can travel together.
But can a human being transcend the need for such kind of love? Can a human being live alone and still love all beings? Can a human being love without any need for sensual gratification, without any expectations or rewards from any quarter, without a psychologically dependent kind of realtionship, the type of love that depends upon another behaving in a certain way towards one, and if that human being changes and stops behaving in that way, then the love turns sour, turns bad? Can a human being transcend the need for such a kind of dependent love? I think it would be most difficult for a human being, most difficult, in fact, for all human beings, to transcend the need for such kind of love.
But it is good for a human being to give some thought, to consider more deeply the question of love, so that understanding, it can love more understandingly, more knowingly.
If only I am passionate to help...
To my stupidity, and ignorance, I have make a mistake to rush into helping others. I was thinking I shall take the charge to help, but I forget the pain that I incured when my stupidity didnt take care of other's heart feeling.
To my dearest friend, I appologise for being rude and ignorance on my words.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. I was wrong. I was too harsh. I was nasty. it was thougthless and unkind of me. How could I have been so heartless!
To my ignorance, I shall learn to be passionate enough to understand the pain that you have. I appologise for being harsh and rush to peel off the hurt that you have a layer to another layer. I forget to take care the painfulness when being peeling off, the scars that are still bleeding and crying. I am regret to the rush actions that I was hoping to cure the hurt that you have for years. I might have close the trustworthy door that given by you. I appologise for being not respecting the privacy. But I do hope that there is a chance to proof the passionate that I am improving to help you. If you still believe that I can help.
To remind myself to be gentle and kind, for our hearts which feel...
A heart feels
Oh! so much
so very deeply.
When you hold
a heart
in your hand
please be very gentle
O be very gentle!
Say not a hurting word.
Look not a spiteful look.
Draw it close to your breast.
Feel its warmth and tenderness
its fears and hopes.
Hug it, love it.
Treasure it, but o please
Don't ever hurt it!
A heart is very soft,
tender, and fragile,
easily broken.
When you hold
a heart
on your hand
Hold it with utmost care!
Love it with truest love!
Lest it trembles
and breaks!
......................poem by Visuddhacara
To my dearest friend, I appologise for being rude and ignorance on my words.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. I was wrong. I was too harsh. I was nasty. it was thougthless and unkind of me. How could I have been so heartless!
To my ignorance, I shall learn to be passionate enough to understand the pain that you have. I appologise for being harsh and rush to peel off the hurt that you have a layer to another layer. I forget to take care the painfulness when being peeling off, the scars that are still bleeding and crying. I am regret to the rush actions that I was hoping to cure the hurt that you have for years. I might have close the trustworthy door that given by you. I appologise for being not respecting the privacy. But I do hope that there is a chance to proof the passionate that I am improving to help you. If you still believe that I can help.
To remind myself to be gentle and kind, for our hearts which feel...
A heart feels
Oh! so much
so very deeply.
When you hold
a heart
in your hand
please be very gentle
O be very gentle!
Say not a hurting word.
Look not a spiteful look.
Draw it close to your breast.
Feel its warmth and tenderness
its fears and hopes.
Hug it, love it.
Treasure it, but o please
Don't ever hurt it!
A heart is very soft,
tender, and fragile,
easily broken.
When you hold
a heart
on your hand
Hold it with utmost care!
Love it with truest love!
Lest it trembles
and breaks!
......................poem by Visuddhacara
How to treat the Past?
Just read from a quotes - how to go thru the pass so that you can disconnect your habbit?
Here is the quotes:
It's better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at that line for the rest of your life.
It is always not easy to quit smoking or drinking. But, if you do not start from today, everyday is a temptation to you. If you do not determine today, you will always drive by the addiction.
It is the same for you to disconnect from an impossible relationship. It might be a habbit for you to have the person day to day with you. Without the hope, you feel your life is missing something, and your heart is misplaced. But, if the person is someone that could let you go, you must learn how to walk on your own. Your happiness shall not count on others, you shall bear the responsibilities on your own.
It might be a habbit that you may be tempted to give up. But dont give up! When you've misplaced your hopeful life, dare to believe again it is possible. Every human deserves a better life if he/she learns to grow. God will only punish someone who is punishing him/herself.
Catch a ray of sunshine,and hold on tightly. Each baby falls when he/she learns to walk. If the parents does not determine to hold his/her hand, he/she wouldnt able to walk on his/her feet when he/she grows. The one who holds your hand... will never let you go.The one that let you go, will not turn twice...
Stand still and brave to hold your believe. You shall be able to have your newly life if you are able to let go bravely...
Every new day is another chance to change your life! Grab the day, and start from today. If you failed on the day, start again, and determine to hold your believe. It might be slow, but it will happen if you hold it and believe in it!
Again, you might be smiling with a sour and bitter heart. But it will not always raining days... you shall see the rainbow when the rain subsides... And, you will appreciate when the sunshine again... that's life.
***An article that might help to retract yourself from clinging the past. http://www.justkeepthechange.com/why-you-cant-be-friends-with-your-ex-after-the-break-up-and-the-no-contact-rule
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Christmas is coming... New Year is waiting...
It is December now, and it is christmas month. This is a festive session, where greetings and wishes all around us. December is the last month of the year. Soon, it will farewell the current year, and welcome the new coming year.
When you hear the jingle bell song singing around...we know that Santa Claus is on his way riding the rudolf deer to greet us merry christmas ...when jinggle bell song leaving far and faded from the distance... we know that new coming year is reaching...Spring cleaning is needed to welcome the new year!
Year end holidays is reaching... there is no reason to be a reason for christmas celebration and new year greetings... Got your christmas clothing? Have your church choir start preparing the christmas carols? Have you start decorating the christmas tree at home? Do you have your christmas socks prepare to receive the christmas present? Oh yeah...Have you done your christmas shopping? Everyone is waiting for warm wishes and a christmas gift...So do I..:-)
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!
May all your wishes come true...
May happiness always surrouding you...
When you hear the jingle bell song singing around...we know that Santa Claus is on his way riding the rudolf deer to greet us merry christmas ...when jinggle bell song leaving far and faded from the distance... we know that new coming year is reaching...Spring cleaning is needed to welcome the new year!
Year end holidays is reaching... there is no reason to be a reason for christmas celebration and new year greetings... Got your christmas clothing? Have your church choir start preparing the christmas carols? Have you start decorating the christmas tree at home? Do you have your christmas socks prepare to receive the christmas present? Oh yeah...Have you done your christmas shopping? Everyone is waiting for warm wishes and a christmas gift...So do I..:-)
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!
May all your wishes come true...
May happiness always surrouding you...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Up and Down
Shall i able to devote the emotion and feeling of mine, i will be having my sweet dream now.
It is 1:23am, and I am still awake with my favourite insomnia song. Why i called it insomnia song? It just touches my sweet and sour memories whenever it is being turn on.
Life is full of up and down. When you are at the top looking down, the feeling is high...full of hope. However, when times comes you will gaze to the sky in the middle of the night...something crawling into your heart...It is the feeling of uncertainty.
Uncertainty! It just haunted your heart and mind. It drives you no where, yet you can't leave it aside to move forward.
Shall tomorrow I see the light when I reach the end of the tunnel. Shall tomorrow when dawn pass thru, i will see the sunlight...Shall I see the gloria morning when I wake up ...Shall the bird singing cheerfully when sun rises...Shall the world peaceful without fear and war...
I guess... no matter how hard i pray... it is being arranged for everyone's destiny...
Again, stand still, pray the best... welcome it with smilling face ... although it might not be the happiest smile that you can contribute... but when you smile, there shall be voices whisper to your heart... life is still going on... chance is still in front... walk thru it... experience it... feel it... and you shall see the result when the day comes....
It is 1:23am, and I am still awake with my favourite insomnia song. Why i called it insomnia song? It just touches my sweet and sour memories whenever it is being turn on.
Life is full of up and down. When you are at the top looking down, the feeling is high...full of hope. However, when times comes you will gaze to the sky in the middle of the night...something crawling into your heart...It is the feeling of uncertainty.
Uncertainty! It just haunted your heart and mind. It drives you no where, yet you can't leave it aside to move forward.
Shall tomorrow I see the light when I reach the end of the tunnel. Shall tomorrow when dawn pass thru, i will see the sunlight...Shall I see the gloria morning when I wake up ...Shall the bird singing cheerfully when sun rises...Shall the world peaceful without fear and war...
I guess... no matter how hard i pray... it is being arranged for everyone's destiny...
Again, stand still, pray the best... welcome it with smilling face ... although it might not be the happiest smile that you can contribute... but when you smile, there shall be voices whisper to your heart... life is still going on... chance is still in front... walk thru it... experience it... feel it... and you shall see the result when the day comes....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
December holiday plans
It is reaching December month...I will be having my long holidays for plan and unplan vacation.
I will be leaving to Hatyai and Koh Samui next weekend. Hatyai and Koh Samui are located at southern part of Thailand. As being known that Thailand is a bit dangerous now. So, I am still in the midst to decide if going or not. I haven't inform my parents and sister about my trip. I know once i tell them, the trip shall be cancelled immediately for me. But, if I am eager to go for the trip? I guess, it is just 50% of excitment for this trip. Why so? It is simple, as I am from north of Malaysia - Hatyai is just very near to the place I was raise. How about Koh Samui? Well, it is a nice beach, I guess... But, at this moment, I am not really fancy about beach. It is christmas session... I am more into winter and cold weather celebration...Perhaps beer is one of the celebration way. Oops! I shall kick out that silly idea...Remember, I shall reduce the liquod intake.
So, where I prefer to have my vacation plan? Hmm... in fact I am hoping that I can go to Singpore for the Christmas feel celeberation. But, I shouldnt pray that thailand situation goes bad. It is just shouldnt be that way.
Let thing goes naturally, shall I be going to Thailand or Singore?
Suddenly, I feel that Singpore is more suitable to me as I feel to travel alone to some places that is safe, yet transportation is convinient. It mimic some places that I am missing...
Walking alone on the street, seeing people crowding for christmas shopping, beer drinking along the cafe, colourful neon light along the shopping malls, people smoking in front of malls to keep body warm, visitors holding camera to snapshot the christmas decoration....Where was it?
It is a place where i walked until i cant continue, yet I can just sit in front of the mall to take my good rest, having myself to do some embrassing action (I was taking off my shoes and change the ankle protector in front of the crowd, so what? no one cares!) , and looking at peoples crossing the road without having an eye sight on me...i am totally on my own, doing whatever i wish to...It was very cold! A cup of hot chocolate makes the different...No nice restaurant, but just a hot drink along the street, walking from up to down streets... crossing few undergrounds...yet I still did not feel to leave the colourful neon light cities...
Well, gal, wake up! It is just a blog writting. Do not go far, back to the reality... It is just matter of how you cheer up life... no more winter christmas, but we have delicious dim sum breakfast here... Oh yeah! I shall make a move for my dim sum breakfast... Shall I begin my day with nice breakfast after few days' fasting...
I will be leaving to Hatyai and Koh Samui next weekend. Hatyai and Koh Samui are located at southern part of Thailand. As being known that Thailand is a bit dangerous now. So, I am still in the midst to decide if going or not. I haven't inform my parents and sister about my trip. I know once i tell them, the trip shall be cancelled immediately for me. But, if I am eager to go for the trip? I guess, it is just 50% of excitment for this trip. Why so? It is simple, as I am from north of Malaysia - Hatyai is just very near to the place I was raise. How about Koh Samui? Well, it is a nice beach, I guess... But, at this moment, I am not really fancy about beach. It is christmas session... I am more into winter and cold weather celebration...Perhaps beer is one of the celebration way. Oops! I shall kick out that silly idea...Remember, I shall reduce the liquod intake.
So, where I prefer to have my vacation plan? Hmm... in fact I am hoping that I can go to Singpore for the Christmas feel celeberation. But, I shouldnt pray that thailand situation goes bad. It is just shouldnt be that way.
Let thing goes naturally, shall I be going to Thailand or Singore?
Suddenly, I feel that Singpore is more suitable to me as I feel to travel alone to some places that is safe, yet transportation is convinient. It mimic some places that I am missing...
Walking alone on the street, seeing people crowding for christmas shopping, beer drinking along the cafe, colourful neon light along the shopping malls, people smoking in front of malls to keep body warm, visitors holding camera to snapshot the christmas decoration....Where was it?
It is a place where i walked until i cant continue, yet I can just sit in front of the mall to take my good rest, having myself to do some embrassing action (I was taking off my shoes and change the ankle protector in front of the crowd, so what? no one cares!) , and looking at peoples crossing the road without having an eye sight on me...i am totally on my own, doing whatever i wish to...It was very cold! A cup of hot chocolate makes the different...No nice restaurant, but just a hot drink along the street, walking from up to down streets... crossing few undergrounds...yet I still did not feel to leave the colourful neon light cities...
Well, gal, wake up! It is just a blog writting. Do not go far, back to the reality... It is just matter of how you cheer up life... no more winter christmas, but we have delicious dim sum breakfast here... Oh yeah! I shall make a move for my dim sum breakfast... Shall I begin my day with nice breakfast after few days' fasting...
Life is going slow...
It has been 2 weekends, I reduce my activities. The reasons being is I was being commented no time for myself, no time for ad-hoc appointment anymore, and I am sick - tougue and gum ulcer.
Anyhow, these 2 weeks, I still getting some new friends who just getting to know me. And, they always see me online, seems very free and homely type... Well, one of them were thinking that it is due to the place that I stay, it is not convinient for me to go out. Hmm... I think it is a new reason for myself, to reject some activity invitations.
So, will I continue with no activity for next few weeks? I guess if everything goes smooth, it will be a busy weeks for me.
I love staying at home, and I love outing as well...Sometimes, I guess we just need to balance our life.
Anyhow, these 2 weeks, I still getting some new friends who just getting to know me. And, they always see me online, seems very free and homely type... Well, one of them were thinking that it is due to the place that I stay, it is not convinient for me to go out. Hmm... I think it is a new reason for myself, to reject some activity invitations.
So, will I continue with no activity for next few weeks? I guess if everything goes smooth, it will be a busy weeks for me.
I love staying at home, and I love outing as well...Sometimes, I guess we just need to balance our life.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Birthday Parties...
Wow...I am having my 2nd parties that have more than 2 persons...
The 1st party that I have was in Brussel with 3 big fruttie pies from Holland. Thanks to my colleagues...who I always want to wish my appreciation, but I just couldnt express in a very touching way... Thanks Sven! Thanks Dirk! It shall go to you a year back...But, I guess my words just couldnt make u touch more...
The 2nd parties.. well...it is partiES. I was eating from morning to midnight. And, continously 3 days celebrations. Thanks buddies... thanks friends, thanks whoever celebrated and paid the bill.
Eating is one of the conventional way of celebrating festival, special day, and seasonal occasion by chinese. We practice it since we were young. Never came into my mind, we do practice western celebration... drinking!
It was a drinking party! Shooter, cocktail, beer, liquod....I just pity my liver... how could it stand so much alchohol in a night?! But, can I reject the celebration?! Well, it is impossible! I hate it, yet I love it!
Did I get drunk?! To my cockiness...I was not at all...
But, I guess I need to reduce the alchohol to rescue my liver, to subside my cockiness. hehe...
Dear friends, I like to drink, but I love myself as well... Never again drinking session for me!
The 1st party that I have was in Brussel with 3 big fruttie pies from Holland. Thanks to my colleagues...who I always want to wish my appreciation, but I just couldnt express in a very touching way... Thanks Sven! Thanks Dirk! It shall go to you a year back...But, I guess my words just couldnt make u touch more...
The 2nd parties.. well...it is partiES. I was eating from morning to midnight. And, continously 3 days celebrations. Thanks buddies... thanks friends, thanks whoever celebrated and paid the bill.
Eating is one of the conventional way of celebrating festival, special day, and seasonal occasion by chinese. We practice it since we were young. Never came into my mind, we do practice western celebration... drinking!
It was a drinking party! Shooter, cocktail, beer, liquod....I just pity my liver... how could it stand so much alchohol in a night?! But, can I reject the celebration?! Well, it is impossible! I hate it, yet I love it!
Did I get drunk?! To my cockiness...I was not at all...
But, I guess I need to reduce the alchohol to rescue my liver, to subside my cockiness. hehe...
Dear friends, I like to drink, but I love myself as well... Never again drinking session for me!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Looking forward
I am looking forward to knowing what has been arrange for me...
I believe the journey is always not easy. Bitter and sweet, it is still the journey that I need to go thru. I will go thru with my heart. Feel it, face it, experience it, and learn from it.
It might not what I hope to, but I know it is something that I need to learn to grow.
No one hold charge of my life, I shall learn how to appreciate and cheer up my life. Rainy day with umbrella, sunny day with laughters. That's life! I shall learn to smile everyday. It might not be the happiest smile. But, it helps to go thru each of the days of mine.
I might not know what is being arrange to me now, but I believe I deserve to get better each day that I go thru - as I learn to live my life in a non perfect but peaceful way.
I believe the journey is always not easy. Bitter and sweet, it is still the journey that I need to go thru. I will go thru with my heart. Feel it, face it, experience it, and learn from it.
It might not what I hope to, but I know it is something that I need to learn to grow.
No one hold charge of my life, I shall learn how to appreciate and cheer up my life. Rainy day with umbrella, sunny day with laughters. That's life! I shall learn to smile everyday. It might not be the happiest smile. But, it helps to go thru each of the days of mine.
I might not know what is being arrange to me now, but I believe I deserve to get better each day that I go thru - as I learn to live my life in a non perfect but peaceful way.
Realize...
It was a pleasant Saturday as I am able to finish my work on time, and no interference to my appointment.
While I was on my way back home, I received a call from someone that I have never seen for 2 years plus. However, she was once appeared in my life for 5 years, who I was meeting every weekend, and staying 2 years together, who I need to pay respect to, who I need to obey to her words, who I nearly need to stay together for my life, who I need to take care the rest of her life if the knot is being tied. She was also the one that I use to hate most, who I blame so much, and who I swore that I will never forgive her.
Never in my mind that I will receive her call, I thought it was a miss calling phone call. However, she made the 2nd attempt to call again. A bit stunt, but still, I picked up the call. I was not able to make the 1st greet, as I have no confident it is a call to me. Shocking, and suprising feeling.
She made the 1st sentence to remind me who she is. I think she realize that it has been a while, we never seen and contacted each others. In fact, I did not hope to meet her for the rest of my life. I thought I will hate her since the day I left. Suprisingly, I have no feeling on this person anymore. Not even to deny or off the call.
I was being asked to pick up my left over stuff. She found out the stuff while she was helping her son to tidy up the room. And, I was being asked when can I go back to pick up them. Spontaneously, I rejected to go back this weekend. I guess I try to buy sometime for myself to think thru shall I back to meet her. It is really a shock to me, as I do not believe that she will ask me back to pick up the stuff that I never need since the moment I move out. And, i strongly believe, I will not need those stuff anymore, as I never need them within the 2 years of my life. I might think too much. But, it is really a midst to me.
However, I am glad of myself. I am able to handle well, and I have no more heart feeling. It is just a friend that I never contacted long time. In fact, if she wants to know the reason, I shall give her a better feeling reason. Nothing much need to be change, as everything is already passed. No matter whoever and whatsover to be blame, it does not help the situation anymore. It is too far to be shorten the distance.
I start to realize, when time past, nothing need to be done anymore. It is a past. Time slips from our palms, no one can grip it. Pain heals along the time...
I shall glad that I have been given a chance to live and learn together. It might not be a happy journey, but still, we have gone thru for years. Glad that we were able to make our turns since we are not fated to the same destination.
While I was on my way back home, I received a call from someone that I have never seen for 2 years plus. However, she was once appeared in my life for 5 years, who I was meeting every weekend, and staying 2 years together, who I need to pay respect to, who I need to obey to her words, who I nearly need to stay together for my life, who I need to take care the rest of her life if the knot is being tied. She was also the one that I use to hate most, who I blame so much, and who I swore that I will never forgive her.
Never in my mind that I will receive her call, I thought it was a miss calling phone call. However, she made the 2nd attempt to call again. A bit stunt, but still, I picked up the call. I was not able to make the 1st greet, as I have no confident it is a call to me. Shocking, and suprising feeling.
She made the 1st sentence to remind me who she is. I think she realize that it has been a while, we never seen and contacted each others. In fact, I did not hope to meet her for the rest of my life. I thought I will hate her since the day I left. Suprisingly, I have no feeling on this person anymore. Not even to deny or off the call.
I was being asked to pick up my left over stuff. She found out the stuff while she was helping her son to tidy up the room. And, I was being asked when can I go back to pick up them. Spontaneously, I rejected to go back this weekend. I guess I try to buy sometime for myself to think thru shall I back to meet her. It is really a shock to me, as I do not believe that she will ask me back to pick up the stuff that I never need since the moment I move out. And, i strongly believe, I will not need those stuff anymore, as I never need them within the 2 years of my life. I might think too much. But, it is really a midst to me.
However, I am glad of myself. I am able to handle well, and I have no more heart feeling. It is just a friend that I never contacted long time. In fact, if she wants to know the reason, I shall give her a better feeling reason. Nothing much need to be change, as everything is already passed. No matter whoever and whatsover to be blame, it does not help the situation anymore. It is too far to be shorten the distance.
I start to realize, when time past, nothing need to be done anymore. It is a past. Time slips from our palms, no one can grip it. Pain heals along the time...
I shall glad that I have been given a chance to live and learn together. It might not be a happy journey, but still, we have gone thru for years. Glad that we were able to make our turns since we are not fated to the same destination.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sunday evening...
It was not a long weekend to me... I was working, and staying at home to continue my house cleaning and decorating project. Well, a lot of ideas being thought of. And, i guess it was too idealistic until I was disppointed when i reach IKEA. End up, I think I shall get a carpenter to customize what i need. Anyhow, I will walk thru the idea piece by piece before it turns into action. The idea is like puzzle pieces, I am trying to merge all the pieces into a big picture. But, I just couldnt merge each of them in a sequential manner.
Elegant or colourful theme? I like the elegant look, as it shows the house looks high class and 'mature'. Yet, I feel it too dull especially if I have to work late under stressful condition. I need some colourful environment to cheer up the dullness work life. Hmm, now, I cant recall why i resisted the colourful design. Oh yeah, I resisted the design due to the colours might cause messy to the house. And, it might not last long as the colour might out of date.
Anyhow, I am going to change the flowers in the living room. No more yellow leaves, and yellow flowers, cause it does look dull!
Amazingly, my mind is being occupied with all these housing decoration plan, and no more wild thinking. A friend of mine has given me the statement - the more you experience it, the more you can handle it well. It is very amazing; only 2 days, I am able to recover well. Bravo to myself! Once again, I am able to stand up fast after falling down. I shall wave farewell to the past, and move forward. I shall have a elegant and colourful life!
Thanks to my dear friends who willing to be my listeners.
Elegant or colourful theme? I like the elegant look, as it shows the house looks high class and 'mature'. Yet, I feel it too dull especially if I have to work late under stressful condition. I need some colourful environment to cheer up the dullness work life. Hmm, now, I cant recall why i resisted the colourful design. Oh yeah, I resisted the design due to the colours might cause messy to the house. And, it might not last long as the colour might out of date.
Anyhow, I am going to change the flowers in the living room. No more yellow leaves, and yellow flowers, cause it does look dull!
Amazingly, my mind is being occupied with all these housing decoration plan, and no more wild thinking. A friend of mine has given me the statement - the more you experience it, the more you can handle it well. It is very amazing; only 2 days, I am able to recover well. Bravo to myself! Once again, I am able to stand up fast after falling down. I shall wave farewell to the past, and move forward. I shall have a elegant and colourful life!
Thanks to my dear friends who willing to be my listeners.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Feeling of the day
I just back from a movie - mamma mia. I guess I make the right choice to watch this movie as it is very funny and touching. It was not a pleasant friday to me today. I was low esteem due to some conversation that I had in the afternoon. Anyhow, I decided to move on... Well, it is not a right timing to decide now, but I think I deserve a break for myself.
I am glad that I have a group of cheerful colleagues and friends. It does help to ensure life is always fun to go thru.
I was a bit blur today, and did wrongly on the database. It is a production database! DBA huh... it is really a big impact to the business, and DBA's reputation. It is like a doctor having wrong medicine to a patient. It is very awkful! In a split second, I was run into total tension mode. I do not want my reputation to be spoilt, and life of DBA being ruined. I was fortunate enough that the database is being rescue without any impact to the business. My learning and skillset still able to cover my own mistaken... Lucky! God Bless huh!
Gal! Cheer up! You know your problem! Cheer up! Cheer up! Do not let it beat you down! Life is not just about that, it is more to go!
Life is about how you spice it up! Experience the journey, bitter, sweet and sour will be left aside when you reach the destiny that you dream of...You need to believe what you dream of will come thru one day... Stand still for the coming day.. You just need to believe it!
I am glad that I have a group of cheerful colleagues and friends. It does help to ensure life is always fun to go thru.
I was a bit blur today, and did wrongly on the database. It is a production database! DBA huh... it is really a big impact to the business, and DBA's reputation. It is like a doctor having wrong medicine to a patient. It is very awkful! In a split second, I was run into total tension mode. I do not want my reputation to be spoilt, and life of DBA being ruined. I was fortunate enough that the database is being rescue without any impact to the business. My learning and skillset still able to cover my own mistaken... Lucky! God Bless huh!
Gal! Cheer up! You know your problem! Cheer up! Cheer up! Do not let it beat you down! Life is not just about that, it is more to go!
Life is about how you spice it up! Experience the journey, bitter, sweet and sour will be left aside when you reach the destiny that you dream of...You need to believe what you dream of will come thru one day... Stand still for the coming day.. You just need to believe it!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday Blues...
We always struggle to wake up in time to work on Monday. Everyone is singing blues on Monday morning. But, life is still going on, earning is still promising, and everything is going ordinary smooth.
15th Sept, 2008 - I think this is being quoted as Black Monday to wallstreet. Many peoples loose jobs, and earning of future is uncertain. This is really blues to most of the peoples, when no one sense the disaster coming in...
Although bailout has been done, will it help the ordinary employee recover fast? Question is still in mind.
Shall we sing blues on Monday now?
I think sometimes, we just need to appreciate what we have, and where we live.
15th Sept, 2008 - I think this is being quoted as Black Monday to wallstreet. Many peoples loose jobs, and earning of future is uncertain. This is really blues to most of the peoples, when no one sense the disaster coming in...
Although bailout has been done, will it help the ordinary employee recover fast? Question is still in mind.
Shall we sing blues on Monday now?
I think sometimes, we just need to appreciate what we have, and where we live.
Monday, September 8, 2008
I am who I am..
I am not a brave person to admit who I am.
I use to retract my words when I am being scare off.
I use to deny my feeling when I ask to express...
The more i like something, the more i feel hard to catch it. The more I try to express, the more I speak wrongly. Do I have to explain myself everytime when things happen? I tried. But I guess, it is just being thought as a 'serious' person.
So, am I gutless?
I do not like to be understood by others. I totally out of tune to be understood. I like to work things differently when I sense someone is trying to understand me. And, I act differently when I try to understand others.
I tried to understand myself, but I feel that the flow of denial is strong...I do not allow myself to understand myself either...
I am hiding for something, something that I feel so strong that denying my thought, my words, and my actions... What is that?
It is an evil thought that resist myself to move forward... I guess...
I use to retract my words when I am being scare off.
I use to deny my feeling when I ask to express...
The more i like something, the more i feel hard to catch it. The more I try to express, the more I speak wrongly. Do I have to explain myself everytime when things happen? I tried. But I guess, it is just being thought as a 'serious' person.
So, am I gutless?
I do not like to be understood by others. I totally out of tune to be understood. I like to work things differently when I sense someone is trying to understand me. And, I act differently when I try to understand others.
I tried to understand myself, but I feel that the flow of denial is strong...I do not allow myself to understand myself either...
I am hiding for something, something that I feel so strong that denying my thought, my words, and my actions... What is that?
It is an evil thought that resist myself to move forward... I guess...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Helpless sickness
I am getting worse and worse of the sickness... The drowning feeling is nearer and nearer... I need to survive myself as soon as possible... before the water sipping much and much and the ship sinks...
Force of reality is there, nothing much that can be done... other than ... run! run! run as fast as you can! run as far as you will..
I shall see the light at the end of the tunnel... i shall... i suppose to...
The wave is pulling me downwards, the water is reaching my nose... i am half death.. as my breath is getting weak and weak... Help! I need the buoyancy aid tyre.. If not, please throw me a rope to pull me up to the shore... I would want to have a clear breath... I want to have my life without struggling in the middle of the sea... out from being urge by the wave... no hitting from the ship plank... Help me!
Force of reality is there, nothing much that can be done... other than ... run! run! run as fast as you can! run as far as you will..
I shall see the light at the end of the tunnel... i shall... i suppose to...
The wave is pulling me downwards, the water is reaching my nose... i am half death.. as my breath is getting weak and weak... Help! I need the buoyancy aid tyre.. If not, please throw me a rope to pull me up to the shore... I would want to have a clear breath... I want to have my life without struggling in the middle of the sea... out from being urge by the wave... no hitting from the ship plank... Help me!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Too much gap to be perfect
Am I a good daughter to my parents?
Am I a rule follower in the country?
Am I consider technical competent for my career?
Am I loyal to myself?
Am I contributing to the community?
Am I a good employee for my company?
Am I keeping what I have promised?
Am I .....................................................??
Am I a rule follower in the country?
Am I consider technical competent for my career?
Am I loyal to myself?
Am I contributing to the community?
Am I a good employee for my company?
Am I keeping what I have promised?
Am I .....................................................??
Who shall decide?
Decision! Decision! Decision!
Who shall make the final decision? You or me?
Why cant we voluntarily assume the responsibility to make the decision?
Do you worry about the accountability and responsibility that you need to bear if the decision does not turn into a fruitful result?
Am I the one that dare not hold the consequences of the decision? I think I prefer to contribute the idea rather than being the decision maker.
So, you have to make the call. And, I did my part. It is time for you to consider my input... Just follow your thought as it does not matter what I say or think, but it is more of a matter of what your opinion is.
You would rather believe in what you want to believe in than the thought that I have.
Who shall make the final decision? You or me?
Why cant we voluntarily assume the responsibility to make the decision?
Do you worry about the accountability and responsibility that you need to bear if the decision does not turn into a fruitful result?
Am I the one that dare not hold the consequences of the decision? I think I prefer to contribute the idea rather than being the decision maker.
So, you have to make the call. And, I did my part. It is time for you to consider my input... Just follow your thought as it does not matter what I say or think, but it is more of a matter of what your opinion is.
You would rather believe in what you want to believe in than the thought that I have.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Empty week for myself
It has been a week passed. Yet, I did nothing for myself.
No facial, no SPA, no massage, no gymn, no exercise, no hair saloon... What am I doing?
I feel that I am looking messy, tired, no mood... arghhhh... I shouldnt live in such situation...I just couldnt stand that I am a lazy woman...It shouldnt be me!
There is no blog reading and english vocabulary study for few weeks. And, you shall notice that my blog writting is getting worse. Although I have read thru some flowery blogs, the words just couldnt go into my brain. My blogs are just pale and plain. I must be very lazy lately!
It is procastination curse that causing laziness...
Break the curse! No more procastination nex week! Shall you tidy up yourself, please!
No facial, no SPA, no massage, no gymn, no exercise, no hair saloon... What am I doing?
I feel that I am looking messy, tired, no mood... arghhhh... I shouldnt live in such situation...I just couldnt stand that I am a lazy woman...It shouldnt be me!
There is no blog reading and english vocabulary study for few weeks. And, you shall notice that my blog writting is getting worse. Although I have read thru some flowery blogs, the words just couldnt go into my brain. My blogs are just pale and plain. I must be very lazy lately!
It is procastination curse that causing laziness...
Break the curse! No more procastination nex week! Shall you tidy up yourself, please!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
CharacterS of mine
Weekday - work from 8.30am to 5.30pm, daily meeting from 9pm to 10pm.
Weekend - few outing, and eating sessions, and work.
Is this a tiring week? I think it shall be. But, I am still satisfy with what I have now. At least, I am contented with what I am doing now.
I like to ramble because time always not enough for me. My colleagues commented me as a person that can't stand still for a moment. In fact, I think I am. But, the weird part is - sometimes I like to talk crap in a crowd of friends, sometimes I like to be leave alone in the corner, and sometimes I just have no word in front of the crowd, sometimes I also like to have only few close friends to have personal chats. I remember my aura scan result described me as active and passive person at different moments. I can turn to be a silent person after a big crap talk. And, I can be super active after staying at home for 48 hours.
Which type of the person i prefer to be? To be a talkertive person or a silent person?
Frankly speaking, I have no idea. It really depends on the environment, and mood of the moment.
Weekend - few outing, and eating sessions, and work.
Is this a tiring week? I think it shall be. But, I am still satisfy with what I have now. At least, I am contented with what I am doing now.
I like to ramble because time always not enough for me. My colleagues commented me as a person that can't stand still for a moment. In fact, I think I am. But, the weird part is - sometimes I like to talk crap in a crowd of friends, sometimes I like to be leave alone in the corner, and sometimes I just have no word in front of the crowd, sometimes I also like to have only few close friends to have personal chats. I remember my aura scan result described me as active and passive person at different moments. I can turn to be a silent person after a big crap talk. And, I can be super active after staying at home for 48 hours.
Which type of the person i prefer to be? To be a talkertive person or a silent person?
Frankly speaking, I have no idea. It really depends on the environment, and mood of the moment.
House Cleaning Progress
It has been 2-3 weeks the house cleaning is in progressing...
It was started with a great progress, but the effort going down and down then.
Anyhow, I am very glad that only few boxes are still pending to clear. I have thrown away quite few boxes of books, training materials, clothes, etc. It is an effort to clean up the house, as well as to throw away the unwanted memory that left behind. Now, everything shall be swept away. No more rubbish in the house, and in the memory. ^__^
Some design and decoration shall be arrange. No more yellow fake flowers, and dying leaves. No more plastics collection (I use to collect plastics for rubbish usage). No more out of fashion clothes. No more obsolete tech books. Everything shall be in a fresh look, and up to date. ~_~
I will need a shopping for living room, family hall, and my bedroom! Well, I think I got the idea for each of the area. Hopefully I am able to complete the whole cleaning, and setup fast.
Although it is a tiring task, I enjoy it! Satisfaction is there!
May be a gathering shall be held to celebrate my great effort...Do you think so?
It was started with a great progress, but the effort going down and down then.
Anyhow, I am very glad that only few boxes are still pending to clear. I have thrown away quite few boxes of books, training materials, clothes, etc. It is an effort to clean up the house, as well as to throw away the unwanted memory that left behind. Now, everything shall be swept away. No more rubbish in the house, and in the memory. ^__^
Some design and decoration shall be arrange. No more yellow fake flowers, and dying leaves. No more plastics collection (I use to collect plastics for rubbish usage). No more out of fashion clothes. No more obsolete tech books. Everything shall be in a fresh look, and up to date. ~_~
I will need a shopping for living room, family hall, and my bedroom! Well, I think I got the idea for each of the area. Hopefully I am able to complete the whole cleaning, and setup fast.
Although it is a tiring task, I enjoy it! Satisfaction is there!
May be a gathering shall be held to celebrate my great effort...Do you think so?
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Saturday
It takes me very long to reach Saturday. I was longing so much for Saturday this week. No date, no work, no outing, nothing... purely I am waiting for it! And, I do really hope nothing will fall in this Saturday. I need a rest! I need my own time and space to connect my body to my soul...
I need a relax Saturday to clear my mind, and to search my soul. I find out that I was busying for nothing this week. I just cant find myself in any room this week. I need my own time...
I will sleep as much as I can, sip my coffee or tea in the morning. Going out for good breakfast, cleaning house, and again take my sweet time to rest.
Do not ask why i am so tired, my eyes just couldnt open when my body touch the sofa. I was sleeping in the living room letting the olympic program on the tv... how could I? I was half way watching the woman double badminton final. But, the eyes just couldnt stand the mind tireness. And, they just close without my sense. Ouuchhhh... I am very sleepy!
I shall find my time to recharge myself... I guess this is the aging sign.
I need a relax Saturday to clear my mind, and to search my soul. I find out that I was busying for nothing this week. I just cant find myself in any room this week. I need my own time...
I will sleep as much as I can, sip my coffee or tea in the morning. Going out for good breakfast, cleaning house, and again take my sweet time to rest.
Do not ask why i am so tired, my eyes just couldnt open when my body touch the sofa. I was sleeping in the living room letting the olympic program on the tv... how could I? I was half way watching the woman double badminton final. But, the eyes just couldnt stand the mind tireness. And, they just close without my sense. Ouuchhhh... I am very sleepy!
I shall find my time to recharge myself... I guess this is the aging sign.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
In between Happiness and Sadness
Sometimes, it is very amazing that happiness can be just so simple... ^_^
A short message, a greeting call, a simple conversation... then you feel so much excitement and heart warm.
However, an excitement can be ruin in a split second by a dreadful face - reflection of a phobia, a shameful past, etc.
A short message, a greeting call, a simple conversation... then you feel so much excitement and heart warm.
However, an excitement can be ruin in a split second by a dreadful face - reflection of a phobia, a shameful past, etc.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Pick
When you are given a chance to pick, please honour it. It comes once, and never turn twice for same choices...
Head forward, do not turn back! Past will remain as memory, will remain as history that lead you for better person.
Do not hold it tight! Once you release your fist, your palm shall able to grab the right one...
Accepting the as is
To deny or to accept?
Do you have a choice to deny?
Do you have a choice to avoid?
Do you have a choice to say no?
Do you have a choice to run away?
Do you have a choice to hide away?
Do you have a choice to opt 2nd option?
Do you have a choice to ??????????
If you do not have any choice, then just learn to accept things over which you have no control.
You will never used to it, but, you have to accept it...
To deny an uncontrollable matter does not make life easy... but to accept it, you will learn to take thing easy...
Do you have a choice to deny?
Do you have a choice to avoid?
Do you have a choice to say no?
Do you have a choice to run away?
Do you have a choice to hide away?
Do you have a choice to opt 2nd option?
Do you have a choice to ??????????
If you do not have any choice, then just learn to accept things over which you have no control.
You will never used to it, but, you have to accept it...
To deny an uncontrollable matter does not make life easy... but to accept it, you will learn to take thing easy...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Pointless thoughts
Shame to say...I always have a wavering mind...vacillating from one end to another end.
At one moment I whispered to myself - I want to be a stronger person. And, I believe that I am managing my life pretty well. I am quintessentially a strong independent and mature person that do not need any external interfences.
Then few seconds later, I just felt that everything is empty, things seem to fall apart and haunted by inglorious past. Will things get better? Is there any point to move on? Anything wrong with me? Self doubt!
There are times where I feel to lash out at peoples who have hurt me, hurt them as bad as they have done so to me. Then I realize that it is indeed a pointless exercise.
In fact everything seems rather pointless... putting in efforts for others, being nice to people, helping others, falling in love, and even this blog post....
But since no one would probably be reading it, so not much is gained or lost, right?
At one moment I whispered to myself - I want to be a stronger person. And, I believe that I am managing my life pretty well. I am quintessentially a strong independent and mature person that do not need any external interfences.
Then few seconds later, I just felt that everything is empty, things seem to fall apart and haunted by inglorious past. Will things get better? Is there any point to move on? Anything wrong with me? Self doubt!
There are times where I feel to lash out at peoples who have hurt me, hurt them as bad as they have done so to me. Then I realize that it is indeed a pointless exercise.
In fact everything seems rather pointless... putting in efforts for others, being nice to people, helping others, falling in love, and even this blog post....
But since no one would probably be reading it, so not much is gained or lost, right?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Devil's thought...
By the name of religion, DEVIL is a major personified spirit of evil, ruler of Hell, and foe of God...
Do you believe inside yourself, it stays an angel and a devil that influence your thinking? I do believe...
So, how shall I cultivate the angel and shoo away the devil?
Musing!
It is Friday!
After a hectic week, and finally it is Friday again! It is a love and hate affair day. People starts to plan for weekend, and no one hopes to be drag back for work. God bless, I am able to off my jabber at the right timing. And, I am going off!
It was a killing week as I was working hard to rush for the projects deadlines and cleaning up my house. You must be wondering why I was dashing to clean up the house from living room, kitchen, until the store room. Who is the one that inpires me to do so?
Partially, I am being motivated for the smooth life that I am longing to. However, the most crucial determination that pushes me to tidy up the house is I need a fairly new environment which can move me farer, and make my life happier...
I was procrastinating the house cleaning process for almost 2 years. During the 1st year moving into this house, I was procrastinating because of house renovation, new job, and new environment. When 2nd year comes, I was procrastinating due to no time, and no energy for a big house. I was even pondering to move to a new apartment to avoid the mess of the house.
I suppose too much execuses for the passed 2 years! Finally I decided - It is time to detox the rubbish and toxin away from my habitat. And, I did it!
From now and then, I am owning this comfortable and warm atmosphere house. I could have my warm hearty tea break in front of the tv, lazying on the tender soft sofa, gazing on the white clear ceiling, and allowing my mind cruising for any brilliant thought. Every brilliant idea comes from a cozy environment... ^_^
Home sweet home,
you set me free,
and I will always on my way to you ...
Oops...it is Saturday now... I shall start my day with the COZY habitat ... ^__^
It was a killing week as I was working hard to rush for the projects deadlines and cleaning up my house. You must be wondering why I was dashing to clean up the house from living room, kitchen, until the store room. Who is the one that inpires me to do so?
Partially, I am being motivated for the smooth life that I am longing to. However, the most crucial determination that pushes me to tidy up the house is I need a fairly new environment which can move me farer, and make my life happier...
I was procrastinating the house cleaning process for almost 2 years. During the 1st year moving into this house, I was procrastinating because of house renovation, new job, and new environment. When 2nd year comes, I was procrastinating due to no time, and no energy for a big house. I was even pondering to move to a new apartment to avoid the mess of the house.
I suppose too much execuses for the passed 2 years! Finally I decided - It is time to detox the rubbish and toxin away from my habitat. And, I did it!
From now and then, I am owning this comfortable and warm atmosphere house. I could have my warm hearty tea break in front of the tv, lazying on the tender soft sofa, gazing on the white clear ceiling, and allowing my mind cruising for any brilliant thought. Every brilliant idea comes from a cozy environment... ^_^
Home sweet home,
you set me free,
and I will always on my way to you ...
Oops...it is Saturday now... I shall start my day with the COZY habitat ... ^__^
Monday, July 21, 2008
Choice is a GRACE you give to yourself
At each and every moment of time, you are given a choice. Even while facing problems or difficulties in life, you can choose whether your actions are to be guided by fear or love.
Guided by fear, you may become righteous, demanding and rigid.
When love is guiding our hand, we are flexible and peaceful with what it is.
This way, we will get a taste of what happiness, peace and freedom truly is.
Living your life with grace means making your choices with love and reponsibility......
Guided by fear, you may become righteous, demanding and rigid.
When love is guiding our hand, we are flexible and peaceful with what it is.
This way, we will get a taste of what happiness, peace and freedom truly is.
Living your life with grace means making your choices with love and reponsibility......
Friday, July 18, 2008
Raw Juice Treatment
Lately, I am back to the raw juice intake. It shall be my dinner substitude whenever there is no special occasion.
To those that not sure if the raw juice intake can help to improve or maintain a healthy body, I would suggest you to try it alternate days. You shall see the before and after effects after 3-4 weeks.
I used to have eczema 2 years back. It is a non cure-able disease that can not be explained by the current medical research. Some say eczema is a hereditary disease, and some say it is due to allergen, environment, food, and etc. However, here I am not trying to get the medical fact to proof how eczema is being evolved. Instead, I am trying to share my knowledge and experience on the raw juice therapy. It is a personal experience which showcase myself recovering from ezcema - at least the skin inflammation does not flare out anymore, after taking the raw juice for 2-3 months.
Personally, I have tried the recipes below and the ezcema just goes away...
To those that not sure if the raw juice intake can help to improve or maintain a healthy body, I would suggest you to try it alternate days. You shall see the before and after effects after 3-4 weeks.
I used to have eczema 2 years back. It is a non cure-able disease that can not be explained by the current medical research. Some say eczema is a hereditary disease, and some say it is due to allergen, environment, food, and etc. However, here I am not trying to get the medical fact to proof how eczema is being evolved. Instead, I am trying to share my knowledge and experience on the raw juice therapy. It is a personal experience which showcase myself recovering from ezcema - at least the skin inflammation does not flare out anymore, after taking the raw juice for 2-3 months.
Personally, I have tried the recipes below and the ezcema just goes away...
- Bitter courd, celery, green pepper, green apple, cucumber
- Beet root, carrot, green apple, celery
Schedule that I have followed:
1st month: alternate the juices daily.
2nd month: alternate the juices every 2 days.
3rd -6th month: alternate the juices weekly.
Please take note that, only have the fruits or vegetables cut when you are going to juice and drink it within 6 hours.
For those who wish to give a try, you may refer to the website http://www.natali.co.uk/rawjuicetherapy.htm. It has the combination fruits and vegetables juices for different diseases.
Hope that the sharing gives you the light of dawn to cure the unexplained able disease.....
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Sleepless Night...
Starry, starry night, pain your palate blue and grey...
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land
Gazing at the starry sky, my mind just gone wild, and wild, far, and far...
Some images come across the mind, and some sadness urging the tears dropping from my eyes, but, the sweetness memory also merging into my garden of rememberance.
Past is a past, present is what I have, and future is mystery of an uncertainty.
What can I grip from the present moment? I guess each of us have a different answer at different stage of our life..
When I was young, I hunger for the freedom of my life. I choose to be a devil student who always disobey the rules and regulations, yet able to show a good result to fellow educators. It is a choice of the school to retain or expell me...I surrender the choice of being identify as a good and bad student... educator, you take charge of teaching me what is good and bad definition of a student... A disobey student with fabulous result is a good student? Or, an obey student with red color result is a good student? I stand the chance to witness how the teacher make the choice...
When I graduated from my 1st degree, I started to realize life is not about disobeying or not. But, it is how you victor yourself in the eyes of the stakeholders... Sounds devil? Yes, it is! But, it was just telling us the fact of surviving skill - which none of us dare to admit the fact.
I was struggling myself for 1.5 years during my 2nd degree with the destiny to sneak into the IT pool. During the 1.5 years, I learnt to be a sincere person yet having a good result student. But, I guess when the boat is sailing smooth, peoples just got envy of you. Over the night, I was stunt by the reality that peoples just couldnt see you are better than them. So, what can I do? I quit!
I opt to move out from the existing apartment, to an apartment that I do not know anyone surrounding me. I buy my peaceful mind...and I gain my friendships from my new neigbourhoods. Yet, deep in heart, I was questioning myself...is the result so crucial to let go a friendship that we built along for years? I was struggling of the thought...And, it took me a year or two to accept the fact that I just do not belongs to the group. In another hand, I shall happy that I am being accepted by the new community - which being identify as the cream of the crop. I loose an apple, but I gain an orange...It is true that peoples can be smart in study yet having a right attitude being a friend. Ever since then, I hold my religious faith being a sincere person....
Starry, starry night...
portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land
Gazing at the starry sky, my mind just gone wild, and wild, far, and far...
Some images come across the mind, and some sadness urging the tears dropping from my eyes, but, the sweetness memory also merging into my garden of rememberance.
Past is a past, present is what I have, and future is mystery of an uncertainty.
What can I grip from the present moment? I guess each of us have a different answer at different stage of our life..
When I was young, I hunger for the freedom of my life. I choose to be a devil student who always disobey the rules and regulations, yet able to show a good result to fellow educators. It is a choice of the school to retain or expell me...I surrender the choice of being identify as a good and bad student... educator, you take charge of teaching me what is good and bad definition of a student... A disobey student with fabulous result is a good student? Or, an obey student with red color result is a good student? I stand the chance to witness how the teacher make the choice...
When I graduated from my 1st degree, I started to realize life is not about disobeying or not. But, it is how you victor yourself in the eyes of the stakeholders... Sounds devil? Yes, it is! But, it was just telling us the fact of surviving skill - which none of us dare to admit the fact.
I was struggling myself for 1.5 years during my 2nd degree with the destiny to sneak into the IT pool. During the 1.5 years, I learnt to be a sincere person yet having a good result student. But, I guess when the boat is sailing smooth, peoples just got envy of you. Over the night, I was stunt by the reality that peoples just couldnt see you are better than them. So, what can I do? I quit!
I opt to move out from the existing apartment, to an apartment that I do not know anyone surrounding me. I buy my peaceful mind...and I gain my friendships from my new neigbourhoods. Yet, deep in heart, I was questioning myself...is the result so crucial to let go a friendship that we built along for years? I was struggling of the thought...And, it took me a year or two to accept the fact that I just do not belongs to the group. In another hand, I shall happy that I am being accepted by the new community - which being identify as the cream of the crop. I loose an apple, but I gain an orange...It is true that peoples can be smart in study yet having a right attitude being a friend. Ever since then, I hold my religious faith being a sincere person....
Starry, starry night...
portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Rules Of Happy Life...
Remeber these five simple rules to be happy:
1-Free your heart from hatred.
2-Free your mind from worries.
3-Live simply.
4-Give more.
5-Excpect less.
No one can go back and make a new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
God didn`t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears,and light for the way.
Disapointment are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don`t stay on the humps too long. Move on!
When you feel down because you didn`t get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking or something better to give you.
When something happens to you,good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.
You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.
The measure of love is when you without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.
It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give. When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes.
Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his(or her) place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older. When you receive this, you know you are cherished.
1-Free your heart from hatred.
2-Free your mind from worries.
3-Live simply.
4-Give more.
5-Excpect less.
No one can go back and make a new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
God didn`t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears,and light for the way.
Disapointment are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don`t stay on the humps too long. Move on!
When you feel down because you didn`t get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking or something better to give you.
When something happens to you,good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.
You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.
The measure of love is when you without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.
It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give. When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes.
Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his(or her) place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older. When you receive this, you know you are cherished.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Welcoming the new, and bidding farewell to the old
Reading on the title, it seems that new born is arrived...In fact, yes.. it is a new born! But...
It wont cry, instead it horns...
It do not have legs, instead it has wheels...
It has no hand, instead it has a sterling...
From the descriptions, obviously it is a car... Yes! It is my newly bought car... I wanted to praise the newly born car, because it brings me luck! Well, although I do not win a prize from it, the car plate number did appear in Magnum, and Sport toto. Dear friends, you miss it!
While I am praising my new companion, I shall express my deepest appreciation to my old buddy.
Dearest KAV3X61,
Thank you for never letting me down for 10 years... never break your promise in the sunny and raining days... crossing the heavy flood in the north and south...With you, I can travel wherever I like...with you, my earning is easy... , with you, I never fear to travel in the middle of night..., with you my uni days are bright...
Billion of memories you gave to me... Thanks!
It wont cry, instead it horns...
It do not have legs, instead it has wheels...
It has no hand, instead it has a sterling...
From the descriptions, obviously it is a car... Yes! It is my newly bought car... I wanted to praise the newly born car, because it brings me luck! Well, although I do not win a prize from it, the car plate number did appear in Magnum, and Sport toto. Dear friends, you miss it!
While I am praising my new companion, I shall express my deepest appreciation to my old buddy.
Dearest KAV3X61,
Thank you for never letting me down for 10 years... never break your promise in the sunny and raining days... crossing the heavy flood in the north and south...With you, I can travel wherever I like...with you, my earning is easy... , with you, I never fear to travel in the middle of night..., with you my uni days are bright...
Billion of memories you gave to me... Thanks!
Simple life starts with simple thinking...
It was a good start of a day by having nice breakfast, and good chat with friends. Although it was not a planned gathering, it happened adhoc via a simple call. Thanks Tammy! Thanks KTV!
Busy days make swinging mind stop loitering for nonsense thought. Do you agree with me? After the busy week, I start to realize that life can be just simple - good sleep, good learning, and it is called a good life...
Although I am not perfectly having a peaceful mind, I feel that I am heading to the right path. And, I believe simple thinking can drive me to the peaceful mind...
Waking up in the early morning with no rush to office, taking my own sweet time to switch myself for a day, reading books, watching series, day dreaming, simple gathering (although it was an adhoc one)...that's my life!
Before I end my writting, let's have my favourite proverb here:
Let bygones be bygones...Long absence, soon forgotten...Do what is right, what better will come...
Busy days make swinging mind stop loitering for nonsense thought. Do you agree with me? After the busy week, I start to realize that life can be just simple - good sleep, good learning, and it is called a good life...
Although I am not perfectly having a peaceful mind, I feel that I am heading to the right path. And, I believe simple thinking can drive me to the peaceful mind...
Waking up in the early morning with no rush to office, taking my own sweet time to switch myself for a day, reading books, watching series, day dreaming, simple gathering (although it was an adhoc one)...that's my life!
Before I end my writting, let's have my favourite proverb here:
Let bygones be bygones...Long absence, soon forgotten...Do what is right, what better will come...
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