Passionate

The word passionate is far to me, as I am a impatient person.

From my young age, my father trained me to become a patient person. He use to fetch me late purposely. And, he knew that I will throw temper due to impatient character. But, he insist to let me waited for long long hours just to train me to be passionate enough for everything that is not smooth in life. I learnt to accept as it, be patient, live a life with a boundary, learn the rules of survival. However, when i grow older and older, my passionate level is loosen and loosen. I get angry easily, not patient to wait, eager for things as fast as my eye glance. I sense that I am loosing passionate in everything surrounding me, I expect what i hope will realize as what I wish. I never put on others' shoes to understand others' feeling, and situation. I am selfish! I am inconsiderate.

I wish to change the attitude that I have - I want to become a passionate person that is willing to accept as it, forgive people, passionate to learn to understand situation better, passionate to wait for others to react as they wish to.

Everyone deserves to be treated patiently. I shall respect others' thoughts, feeling, and actions.
I am regret in whatever I have done impatiently causing inconvinient to others. I shall learn to be passionate to wait and respect others. Passionate to go thru the whole situation / story, shouldnt jump into conclusion, and respect each of the decision that make by others, do not simply challenge others' thought as it is incosiderate to others, do not simply deny others' words.

A life without limbs

Here is a real story that I would like to share with you:
http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY

I think everyone face difficulties and disppointment along our life. We easily give up anything that upset us. And, we are lucky enough as we have a choice to learn in a smooth path. If you are born with no limbs, what will be your life? Give up? Or try a thousand or million times to get back up?

Never give up! Life does not give up you, and shall you not give up your life! There is always miracle comes along when you try it up...thousand, million times...it is no end, but it is matters of how you finish it strong...

Words from Nick:

Everyone knows when fall down, we will get back up.
But, sometimes in life, we fall down and may have no strength to get back up, we feel hopeless - do you think you have hope?

When I fall down, face down, no arms and no legs. It should be impossible for me to get back up. But it is not. I would tried 100 times to get up. If I failed 100 times, and give up. Will I able to get back up? The answer is no! But if you try again, and again and again. It is not the end. It is matter of how you are going to finish. Are you going to finish it strong? You will find the strength to get back up......

A letter to my parents

I always wish to tell my parents, but I think I am a traditional asian that feel hard to say the words out from mouth. But, I learn to write it down.

Dearest papa, mummy,
I miss you so much especially during this festival season. I wish I can always around you and bring you happiness. I always remember that you are the persons that never let go me, and loves me with no expectation. I might be a disobedient daugther, but I would like to appologise for being ignorance for the past years. I love you as much as you love me. Thank you for giving me a warmth home. It is the safest place that I could have when I am hurt, sad, and misplaced my life. I love you!

Little happiness that knock over me

As I received the letter from my china sponsored child, it reminds me that I have 2 sponsored children, and 1 green turtle, and 1 turtle nest. I am glad that I have them as part of me.

Although it is a financial commitment that I need to pledge, it brings me joyfulness. I have contributed something to this world, and it is my pleasure that I have the capabilities to do so.

Letter from my sponsored child

It is glad that I receieved a letter from the child that I sponsored.
But the sorrow feeling comes across when I read thru the writting from the father.

She is a happy girl with no worry, and likes to learn. But she is born in a family with a long term illness father, and a handicap mother. If there is no one sponsor her, she might not able to persue her study.

I am glad that I am given a chance to sponsor the child. I shall feel gratitude to the life that I have now, and try my very best to help those that in need.

Live life to the fullest although it is imperfect

Dont cling to perfectionist as life is not about perfect or not.
Live life to the fullest although it is imperfect.

Accept as is, forgive yourself, forgive others.
If you are able to forgive yourself, you are able to forgive others.
If you are able to love yourself, you are able to love others.

Practice meditation although it is just a breath in and out. Start from a breath in and out, and increase to the fullest mind that you are able to concentrate.
Live in the present, there is not necessary to review the past. Present is the result of the past, and future is the result of the present. Living in present will make you see your past and result in future.

Forgive yourself as if you forgive others. See but not look, hear but not listen. If it is a mistake, see it but dont look into it. Forgive it although you cant forget it.

Mind management: awareness, concentrate, wisdom. I hope what i learn today, I can practice as much as I can.

Encouragement

I need courage to admit what I have done is wrong.
I need courage to overcome the fear that I have.
I need courage to talk to the person who hurt me before.
I need courage to against the phobia.

Today, I have the courages to go thru what I mentioned above. I wish to admit what I have done is wrong. I wish to have no fear on whatever I am encountering. I wish to talk to the person who hurt me earlier - I wish to go for chantting that I let go long time ago. I appologise that I let go my religion due to my fear to admit what have passed. I wish the phobia that I have can be broken with the wishes that I mentioned.

I am back to normal

To my dearest friends, thanks for the regards.
I am back to normal after some thoughts and readings.

The refresh feeling is there, no more hatred heart. And, I am glad that I can recover fast and feel the warmth friendship.

I was lost, but I see the direction now.
I was frustrated, but I understand the situation better now.
I was not happy, but I am peaceful now.

Again, put on my running shoes, walk thru the journey to the best that I can.
Life is still going on. Let go, at ease. If you understand the saying - 随缘莫攀缘。随缘自着，攀缘烦恼。Let bygone be bygone. Shall the better will come.

I am glad that I am a religious buddhist, who is given a chance to understand human living better.

I am sad...

I am sad, but I am not able to show on face.
I love someone, but I am not able to tell.
I make wrong response, but I am not able to retract.
I am wrong, but I have no chance to appologise.

Now, I am suffering. And, I scare to experience the suffer feeling. I try to hide, and it makes things worse. No one trust I am sad. What shall I do? I crack my head, but there is no answer.

I shall let the person knows that I am sad. But, will he trust me again?

I am scare to experience the sadness. I know I will drown to die.
What shall I do? Can I stand the sadness alone?

New Year New Resolution

New year new resolutions...

Practice the NO:
1.) No fear
2.) No hatred heart
3.) No jealous
4.) No wild thinking
5.) No swingy mood
6.) No self abuse
7.) No rude word
8.) No suspicious thought
9.) No discourage heart
10) No critism

Practice the YES:
1.) Be strong
2.) Be kind
3.) Be generous
4.) Be stable
5.) Be patient
6.) Be passionate
7.) Be polite
8.) Be steady
9.) Encouragement
10.) Appreciate & Compliment

May all the Yes and No being practice with peaceful mind and happy feeling heart.
May all the Yes and No bring joyfulness to the new year...

Eyes vs Mind

I see what I have seen, but I hope what I have seen is not the truth.
It was shocking my head to toe, but I have seen what I shall not see.

I do not agree, but I can't deny.
I do not believe, but I have seen.

To discard the truth, I shall tell myself I am having short sighted eyes. If I am having eyes problem, what I have seen is just a shadow which make not truth.
If it is not the truth, I am still able to hold my strong belief.
With the strong belief, there is no fear.
When there is no fear, life is always at the bright side.

And, I shall tell myself - life is always full of hope...