I am looking forward to knowing what has been arrange for me...
I believe the journey is always not easy. Bitter and sweet, it is still the journey that I need to go thru. I will go thru with my heart. Feel it, face it, experience it, and learn from it.
It might not what I hope to, but I know it is something that I need to learn to grow.
No one hold charge of my life, I shall learn how to appreciate and cheer up my life. Rainy day with umbrella, sunny day with laughters. That's life! I shall learn to smile everyday. It might not be the happiest smile. But, it helps to go thru each of the days of mine.
I might not know what is being arrange to me now, but I believe I deserve to get better each day that I go thru - as I learn to live my life in a non perfect but peaceful way.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Realize...
It was a pleasant Saturday as I am able to finish my work on time, and no interference to my appointment.
While I was on my way back home, I received a call from someone that I have never seen for 2 years plus. However, she was once appeared in my life for 5 years, who I was meeting every weekend, and staying 2 years together, who I need to pay respect to, who I need to obey to her words, who I nearly need to stay together for my life, who I need to take care the rest of her life if the knot is being tied. She was also the one that I use to hate most, who I blame so much, and who I swore that I will never forgive her.
Never in my mind that I will receive her call, I thought it was a miss calling phone call. However, she made the 2nd attempt to call again. A bit stunt, but still, I picked up the call. I was not able to make the 1st greet, as I have no confident it is a call to me. Shocking, and suprising feeling.
She made the 1st sentence to remind me who she is. I think she realize that it has been a while, we never seen and contacted each others. In fact, I did not hope to meet her for the rest of my life. I thought I will hate her since the day I left. Suprisingly, I have no feeling on this person anymore. Not even to deny or off the call.
I was being asked to pick up my left over stuff. She found out the stuff while she was helping her son to tidy up the room. And, I was being asked when can I go back to pick up them. Spontaneously, I rejected to go back this weekend. I guess I try to buy sometime for myself to think thru shall I back to meet her. It is really a shock to me, as I do not believe that she will ask me back to pick up the stuff that I never need since the moment I move out. And, i strongly believe, I will not need those stuff anymore, as I never need them within the 2 years of my life. I might think too much. But, it is really a midst to me.
However, I am glad of myself. I am able to handle well, and I have no more heart feeling. It is just a friend that I never contacted long time. In fact, if she wants to know the reason, I shall give her a better feeling reason. Nothing much need to be change, as everything is already passed. No matter whoever and whatsover to be blame, it does not help the situation anymore. It is too far to be shorten the distance.
I start to realize, when time past, nothing need to be done anymore. It is a past. Time slips from our palms, no one can grip it. Pain heals along the time...
I shall glad that I have been given a chance to live and learn together. It might not be a happy journey, but still, we have gone thru for years. Glad that we were able to make our turns since we are not fated to the same destination.
While I was on my way back home, I received a call from someone that I have never seen for 2 years plus. However, she was once appeared in my life for 5 years, who I was meeting every weekend, and staying 2 years together, who I need to pay respect to, who I need to obey to her words, who I nearly need to stay together for my life, who I need to take care the rest of her life if the knot is being tied. She was also the one that I use to hate most, who I blame so much, and who I swore that I will never forgive her.
Never in my mind that I will receive her call, I thought it was a miss calling phone call. However, she made the 2nd attempt to call again. A bit stunt, but still, I picked up the call. I was not able to make the 1st greet, as I have no confident it is a call to me. Shocking, and suprising feeling.
She made the 1st sentence to remind me who she is. I think she realize that it has been a while, we never seen and contacted each others. In fact, I did not hope to meet her for the rest of my life. I thought I will hate her since the day I left. Suprisingly, I have no feeling on this person anymore. Not even to deny or off the call.
I was being asked to pick up my left over stuff. She found out the stuff while she was helping her son to tidy up the room. And, I was being asked when can I go back to pick up them. Spontaneously, I rejected to go back this weekend. I guess I try to buy sometime for myself to think thru shall I back to meet her. It is really a shock to me, as I do not believe that she will ask me back to pick up the stuff that I never need since the moment I move out. And, i strongly believe, I will not need those stuff anymore, as I never need them within the 2 years of my life. I might think too much. But, it is really a midst to me.
However, I am glad of myself. I am able to handle well, and I have no more heart feeling. It is just a friend that I never contacted long time. In fact, if she wants to know the reason, I shall give her a better feeling reason. Nothing much need to be change, as everything is already passed. No matter whoever and whatsover to be blame, it does not help the situation anymore. It is too far to be shorten the distance.
I start to realize, when time past, nothing need to be done anymore. It is a past. Time slips from our palms, no one can grip it. Pain heals along the time...
I shall glad that I have been given a chance to live and learn together. It might not be a happy journey, but still, we have gone thru for years. Glad that we were able to make our turns since we are not fated to the same destination.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sunday evening...
It was not a long weekend to me... I was working, and staying at home to continue my house cleaning and decorating project. Well, a lot of ideas being thought of. And, i guess it was too idealistic until I was disppointed when i reach IKEA. End up, I think I shall get a carpenter to customize what i need. Anyhow, I will walk thru the idea piece by piece before it turns into action. The idea is like puzzle pieces, I am trying to merge all the pieces into a big picture. But, I just couldnt merge each of them in a sequential manner.
Elegant or colourful theme? I like the elegant look, as it shows the house looks high class and 'mature'. Yet, I feel it too dull especially if I have to work late under stressful condition. I need some colourful environment to cheer up the dullness work life. Hmm, now, I cant recall why i resisted the colourful design. Oh yeah, I resisted the design due to the colours might cause messy to the house. And, it might not last long as the colour might out of date.
Anyhow, I am going to change the flowers in the living room. No more yellow leaves, and yellow flowers, cause it does look dull!
Amazingly, my mind is being occupied with all these housing decoration plan, and no more wild thinking. A friend of mine has given me the statement - the more you experience it, the more you can handle it well. It is very amazing; only 2 days, I am able to recover well. Bravo to myself! Once again, I am able to stand up fast after falling down. I shall wave farewell to the past, and move forward. I shall have a elegant and colourful life!
Thanks to my dear friends who willing to be my listeners.
Elegant or colourful theme? I like the elegant look, as it shows the house looks high class and 'mature'. Yet, I feel it too dull especially if I have to work late under stressful condition. I need some colourful environment to cheer up the dullness work life. Hmm, now, I cant recall why i resisted the colourful design. Oh yeah, I resisted the design due to the colours might cause messy to the house. And, it might not last long as the colour might out of date.
Anyhow, I am going to change the flowers in the living room. No more yellow leaves, and yellow flowers, cause it does look dull!
Amazingly, my mind is being occupied with all these housing decoration plan, and no more wild thinking. A friend of mine has given me the statement - the more you experience it, the more you can handle it well. It is very amazing; only 2 days, I am able to recover well. Bravo to myself! Once again, I am able to stand up fast after falling down. I shall wave farewell to the past, and move forward. I shall have a elegant and colourful life!
Thanks to my dear friends who willing to be my listeners.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Feeling of the day
I just back from a movie - mamma mia. I guess I make the right choice to watch this movie as it is very funny and touching. It was not a pleasant friday to me today. I was low esteem due to some conversation that I had in the afternoon. Anyhow, I decided to move on... Well, it is not a right timing to decide now, but I think I deserve a break for myself.
I am glad that I have a group of cheerful colleagues and friends. It does help to ensure life is always fun to go thru.
I was a bit blur today, and did wrongly on the database. It is a production database! DBA huh... it is really a big impact to the business, and DBA's reputation. It is like a doctor having wrong medicine to a patient. It is very awkful! In a split second, I was run into total tension mode. I do not want my reputation to be spoilt, and life of DBA being ruined. I was fortunate enough that the database is being rescue without any impact to the business. My learning and skillset still able to cover my own mistaken... Lucky! God Bless huh!
Gal! Cheer up! You know your problem! Cheer up! Cheer up! Do not let it beat you down! Life is not just about that, it is more to go!
Life is about how you spice it up! Experience the journey, bitter, sweet and sour will be left aside when you reach the destiny that you dream of...You need to believe what you dream of will come thru one day... Stand still for the coming day.. You just need to believe it!
I am glad that I have a group of cheerful colleagues and friends. It does help to ensure life is always fun to go thru.
I was a bit blur today, and did wrongly on the database. It is a production database! DBA huh... it is really a big impact to the business, and DBA's reputation. It is like a doctor having wrong medicine to a patient. It is very awkful! In a split second, I was run into total tension mode. I do not want my reputation to be spoilt, and life of DBA being ruined. I was fortunate enough that the database is being rescue without any impact to the business. My learning and skillset still able to cover my own mistaken... Lucky! God Bless huh!
Gal! Cheer up! You know your problem! Cheer up! Cheer up! Do not let it beat you down! Life is not just about that, it is more to go!
Life is about how you spice it up! Experience the journey, bitter, sweet and sour will be left aside when you reach the destiny that you dream of...You need to believe what you dream of will come thru one day... Stand still for the coming day.. You just need to believe it!
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